Hairmania

Dear Avid Readers. This will be my last post for 2007. Thank you for reading and commenting during the last year and a half. I wanted to leave you with a little food for thought. Does the guy on the bottom left hand corner remind you of the Asian Version of the dude from Coming to America.
I know you are running through your head thinking of all the characters in the movie...and you are saying to yourself...no, not Eddie Murphy. no, not Arsenio Hall.....hmmmm oh yes, that random guy that left a stain on his chair...what's his name???

I saw this picture and laughed so hard that I thought it would be a great way to end the New Year for my Dear Avid Readers.

Diarrhea of the Mouth

Dear Avid Readers.

Urbandictionary.com defines Diarrhea of the Mouth as being:

Spilling your beans nonstop to any and everyone who will listen. This especially applies when you're cracked out or tweaked on drugs and feel the need to share every random thought that crosses your mind.
Synonyms include: Chatty Cathy

With that being said, dear avid readers, I hereby begin my tale of diarrhea terror. Last night was my company Christmas party. Now these last few months have been trying for Yours Truly as there is a co-worker of mine that makes my skin crawl. Now this is the same, infamous
Employee X from previous posts that I will be referring to from here on out. Since then, she has continued making mistakes large and small. She comes into work late and leaves right on the dot. She has constant appointments with dentists, orthopedic foot doctors, dermatologists that she HAS TO see during office hours so will leave for like an hour and a half to two hours during lunch. And I would be fine with all this except that:
1. The little responsibility she does possesses she rarely accomplishes it without mistakes
2. When she does finally get to working she can never finish and sometimes pawns off her work to others.
3. Because my boss hates working with her I get all her extra load

(My top three reasons why I absolutely can not stand Employee X)

So, last week the IT guy discovered that one of his reports (an important one used to contact all perspective students) was tampered with by EX(Employee X). Now, she has been told by IT to NEVER touch reports because she keeps messing them up and when a report gets ruined it takes IT a long time to recover these damaged reports. However, as usual EX thinks she is able to do much more than we all know she is capable of. Except this time, she had changed and accidentally saved a report that allowed NOT ONE SINGLE STUDENT who put Los Angeles as the campus of interest to receive any mailings from us. If you were a perspective student requesting Admissions information from AMDA and put LA as your campus of interest we would not mail you anything in other words. Now, this was discovered 12/13/2007 and she had changed the report on 8/23/2007. As you can guess LA was LIVID. Their numbers are down this year and they have been getting a lot of slack from the higher powers that may be and so can you imagine when they discovered that someone from NY (yes, there is an unfriendly rivalry between the 2 campuses) that they were looking for a head to chop. However, rather than chopping the only logical head of EX, my bosses, decide it was LA's fault for being unclear with EX....(unbelievable right?) which adds to my intense dislike of working with her.

So, long story short last night at the work Christmas party I had a co-worker (at 1:30 in the am, 130 sips of wine later) who gave me the beginnings of a pity party
"Don't leave"
"I really want you to be here instead of EX"
"We all know how much more you're working"
And all this is like eating a bad piece of lettuce and getting diarrhea, because, after hearing all this, I began getting Diarrhea of the mouth and being like,
"I know it's sooooo hard working with her"
"I don't feel like I can work with her any longer"
"she is so brutal but no one does anything about it"

In other words, dear avid readers, it is what I've been saying to you, but now I've vocalized it (whilst drunk) to my co-worker. It is something I hate doing. I hate diarrheaing to people I work with but alas that cheap pinot grigio did a number on my judgment and I did it. Therefore, the only thing to end this post with is....Dope.

Where can I purchase one of these for Christmas?

Dear Avid Readers. I think I may have to ask for a Paper Bag for Christmas this year. I just got off the phone with Yours Truly's mother and the conversation went as follows.

Mom: "When do you get home again"
Me: "On the 24th of December. My flight gets in early"
Mom: "oh good. because the Lee's are performing that night"
Me: "So you are for real? What are we doing"
Mom: "We will have to perform so we should think of something"
Me: "I thought we were singing Amazing Grace?"
Mom: "we are performing."

End of conversation. Anyone that has heard our family sing would probably be able to give the following testimony.

The Lee's have been so blessed in their lives. God blessed mom with strength, a home, a restaurant and 3 children, God blessed Yours Truly with the ability to grow hair at an incredible rate, God blessed brother 1 with an uncanny ability to attract people with a sense of direction so he would never need to learn how to navigate, God blessed brother 2 with an ability to find women who, come hell or high water, would do as he says. But no one. Not one soul, would ever say the words....God blessed the Lee's with vocal ability.

With that being said. We need lots, and I mean tons, of prayer because even though God doesn't judge, I am pretty sure those sitting in the pews do. :)

Ring in the New

Dear Avid Readers. You would be proud of Yours Truly because after 5 months of looking and checking online at Meetup.com I finally brought myself to an event. I am officially signed up for.......
1. Bookclub
2. Knitting club
3. Improve your Chinese Club
4. Volleyball Club
5. People who appreciate dining out club
6. Film Lovers club
But as of Saturday the only club I truly belonged to was the "I would never show up to a club-club"
However, as I have been trying to live life to the fullest, I decided that this Saturday Yours truly would finally take advantage of meetup.com and I finally attended my first MEETUP.COM/Volleyball club. It was interesting to say the least. It was a group of avid volleyball lovers ranging from 24 years old to 50 years old. Although I wasn't the best volleyball player by far I was comforted to know that I wasnt' the worst. It was certainly an interesting experience. I played from 2-5 (that's a long time and I am still sore) adn afterwards most of the group headed to a bar for dinner and drinks. I met a lot of really nice people and the experience was extremely positive. The first 10 minutes was B-Arthur (Brutal) but once I warmed up (literally and figuratively) it was all fun and games. On to other news. For my 2 dear avid readers. As an update. I receieved a letter from The Boy, and I do need to talk to someone for advice, however seeing as it is late I will hold off and hopfully talk to you two soon and maybe brainstorm as to what I should do and what this letter means. I feel a little Carrie Bradshaw/Mr. Big right now :)

INTRODUCING...

Dear Avid Readers. The dice have been cast, the votes are in, it's been finalized...

MAXWELL KILLIAN YU

or as my sister would like to call him Max Will Kill Yu.

Wanted - Single Asian Female

Dear Avid Readers. Ever since The Boy has moved across the globe, Your Truly is back to the drawing boards as far as finding a new roomate. Now up until a few years ago I have had pretty good luck as far as roomates go: (if you will follow me down memory lane)

1. Freshman Year. I had a roomate name Kara who was dating (and planned on marrying) Kevin Karlin, thereby, making her initials K.K.K. She was sweet, blonde haired, blue eyed and a wonderful first roomate as they went to different schools so she was always 3 hours away visiting him and I therefore had a room all to myself. Even when they were both here they really felt like an older brother and sister. The biggest complaint Yours Truly could have said about her was that her dream wedding would be at Disney World.

2. Sophmore Year. I had my B.F.F. as my roomate so that was amazing. 'Nuff Said. Even our arguments were more like sisters than anything else.

3. Junior Year. Junior year I did hit a slight bump in the road of Roomate Bliss. I started the year off with a group of friends but due to a few minor setbacks (a.k.a. they thought I was a Britta Water Pitcher Klepto) we decided to part ways. I still got my B.F.F. and we decided to adopt her boyfriends sister and the #3 to the group. Now, I must say that although there were some issues I had with BS (boyfriends sister) they were bearable in the sense that I had to just laugh at some of the crazy things BS would do or suggest. If any Dear Avid Readers know Yours Truly's brother you would thing nothing of these requests as I tried to.

• Flushing once a day unless we went #2
• Turning down the heat during the dead of winter to save electricity
• Saying no to food my B.F.F and I would make and then sit there watching us eat whilst commenting on how we ate a lot
• Asking us to brush out the crumbs every time we made toast
• Cleaning the microwave every morning whether it needed cleaning or not

But, still, the year went by smoothly.

4. Senior Year. This may have been a top 3 moment of Roomate history. I got to live at 209 Fairchild and the name speaks for itself. I had my other B.F.F.'s and spent a year in absolute and total bliss. We had theme parties, fed an overweight neighbors dog ice cream, shot off fireworks and then had our landlord send up a notice of when we were caught by the police- all in all it was the best senior year ever.

5. First post college Place. My next apartment would be in Taiwan as I taught English. Again, it was much like Junior year. Not amazing but not unbearable either. I lived with an ABC, like myself, and a girl from Switzerland. We all got along but never really hung out but would have drinks once in awhile. It was a nice apartment and the only complaint was that the ABC had a dog that was definately not neutured and therefore would have her "period" all over the apartment and on my shoes.

6. Second Post College Place. I headed back to Iowa to live with The Boy and his 5 roomates. Now this was fun as well, as I was the only lady with 6 dudes. I will say that after living here I was under the assumption that living with guys was completely drama free.

7. Third Post College Place. After that I moved to Chi-Town to live with My Truly Stephanie and Jessica. Now if there were ever a time when 3 absolutely opposite beings could live together this would be it. Stephanie was an old friend from High School, and Jessica was The Boys best friends ex-girlfriend. (This should have been a first sign) Long story short, it was a strange living environment ending with Stephanie and I still wondering, to this day, what it was that made Jessica tell all of Des Moines that she was miserable living there. Often times, Stephanie and Yours Truly will share a beer and wonder outloud....followed by the briefest of pauses...and then we move on.

8. Fourth Post College Place. From here the boy and I moved to China and lived together in an apartment with a hole in the wall that we had to cover with a pair of pants we found when we moved in. Now keep in mind, we would have used something different, but having only packed enough to carry for 1 whole year we couldn't really waste our clothes. I had a good time living with the boy and the only complaints I had were

• The hole in the Wall
• All the people pissing, showering, pooping, and spitting loogies out my front door
• SARS occured
• Everyone stared at us incessantly

Beyond that, we had a maid at 65 cents an hour, our B.F.F. in China was 2 buildings down from where we lived, my cousin was very close as well, and we discovered this little buns filled with delicious mystery meat from China.

9. First Pre-Adult Place. From China the boy and I moved to New York City!!! I found our first joint apartment in the butt cracks of Chinatown. It was small, it was cramped, but it was ours. For the first time I put time into decorating, and buying furniture. It was just like they said on TV...playing house is nice...for awhile. Living in such tight quarters proved to be more than Yours Truly could handle and after 1 year I moved out.

10. Second Pre-Adult Place. I was so ready to move, that I packed my bags and moved 3 blocks down the street. :) From here I have had an array of interesting cats that have made me realize and appreciate all those great roomates beforehand

• #1. An Irish drunk who had anger issues when drinking. He would throw anything within sight. Often I would wake up to a bruised and beaten sandwich scattered about the house, or my shoes all over. I also lost two Tiffany's wine glasses to such blatant rage. Other times The Boy and I would wake in the middle of the night to extremely loud sobbing and cussing for hours on end


• #2. My Michelle who was a light at the end of a long tunnel. Living with her reminded me of the days of yore, when I got to live with B.F.F.'s. she is like a little sister and confidante for me. I miss, miss, miss, miss living with her.



• #3. Although it was hard to say goodbye to Michelle, The Boy and I decided to give living together another chance as we have been together 7 years at this point. However, before his lease was up I had a 2 month window where I needed someone to move in so Enter ML. He was someone I found off Craigslist and although he was an exceptionally nice guy (and I chose him becuase he had the same name as my brother) it was like living in China again. He wore indoor slippers, he brushed his teeth in the kitchen sink, he ate out of a tin bowl despite the fact that I had nice dishes, he hawked loogies in the shower, and didn't really know how to aim in the toilet. Alas it was only 2 months


• #4. Finally the Boy moved in, but with him came his younger brother and a part time girlfriend. Long story short, although the apartment was bigger than before it felt tiny again by the additional bodies.

So now I am spending the weekend shopping for new roomates again. As I begin my first showing tonight I try to keep in mind all the ones before me and I hope I do not end up with a

SINGLE ASIAN FEMALE:

Yummy McYummersons

Dear Avid Readers,
After a wonderful, relaxing, family oriented, week at home for Thanksgiving, Yours Truly is back with some wonderful news. Please meet, Baby, the newest member of Yours Truly's familia. He was born November 27th at 2:04 weighing 7 lbs. Although he currently has yet to be named, the top choices are Miles, Milo, Mason. Uncle Michael, however, went against the grain and decided that Maxwell would be a suitable name, because then we could all call him Maxie. That's right Dear Avid Readers. Uncle Michael did not really think about the negative impact it would have on a young child to be nicknamed Maxie. Whatever the name ends up being, I, for one, can not wait to go home for Christmas and meet this cutest little bundle of yumminess.