When Friends Visit

Dear Avid Readers, look at me posting like crazy. Last year when the boy and I went to Tokyo, Japan we stayed with the nicest brothers in the world! I will refer to them as M1 and M2. They were so hospitable and took us to the best restaurants, bars and touristy areas that Tokyo had to offer. That is why when M2 decided to visit I was ECSTATIC to show him my city, New York! (p.s. how tan am I????)


Here is M2 and myself after eating some yummy Chinatown food. His only request was no Japanese food and everything else is fine.
We went to a Mets game in Queens...here's me going in looking scared of spending a whole night watching baseball :)
The stairway that leads into the game is always my favorite part, because after having gone to so many games it still amazes me at how bright the ballpark gets.
Here they are playing. After the 9th inning it was still tied and although we tried staying through the whole game we decided to leave after the 10th inning (only so much baseball I can take) and they ended up winning (we later heard on the train)


The Mets were playing the Philly's that night and the dude with his mouth open behind us was so mean whenever he saw someone with a Philly's shirt on I mean foul language and calling him/her names really loudly...so rude. Then on the train ride home we saw a group of 5 girlfriends two of which were having a cat fight on the train. They were screaming and yelling so loudly that it brought the entire cart of the train together...well together in being annoyed and angry at the two girls.This was a funny night. So it was me, M2, our mutual friend's husband (in the gray) and M2's friend (in the white) Dear Avid Reader ladies...please let me know if this happens to you. When I first met Mr. White, he spoke only to my chest. I mean I have met plenty of dudes before where they take a glance and I understand that sometimes it is a natural reaction and when they've looked they then look up and speak to you in the face, however, Mr. White spent 85% of the evening answering my chest rather than my face. It was so ridonkulous it was actually very funny.
M2 and I spent our last night at Del Frisco's where we had a great dinner. My friend Miss H joined us later for some cocktails. This picture should have been last as we are finished and stuffed in this picture!

Here is us in the midst of a very delicious dinnerand just to cap it off and let my dear avid readers who are also food lovers such as yours truly I will list for you our menu for the evening!

1. started with some champagne (mmmmmm....bubbly)
2. appetizer of Jumbo Lump Crab Cakes baked, not fried (one of my favorite dishes at Del's)
3. for entree we shared a Porterhouse Steak (medium rare) a 14 ounce Lobster Tail
4. for sides we ordered creamed corn and au gratin potatoes
5. for wine my friend Miss M brought over a delicious bottle of something or another for us to drink
6. for dessert we ordered a Del's Delight (one of my favorite desserts)

This is a pre-post to my brother and sister in law who are coming to visit this weekend. I can't wait to have more friends visit and be in town....I love it!

The Exodus

Dear Avid Readers,

After a long and exhausting exodus, Yours Truly has returned. Let me catch you up on my life.

#1. Career. Most of you know I have started a new job. I have a swanky title, a swanky paycheck and a swanky new attitude...that is until I started the actual job. It is made crazy. I have never experienced a place quite like this. I feel that even as I type you these stories you would not believe me. But alas I will try... (ps...from here on out my boss will be referred to as The Man or TM)

THE A TO Z'S OF MY CRAZY F#%^ING LIFE AS THE MAN'S BIATCH

A. TM was actually disappointed in me Friday because I was NOT Korean
B. TM told a co-worker to stop smiling because there was work to be done
C. TM told me that there was only one f#%^#ing name I needed to know and that was his
D. TM yelled in front on the entire office, "you know what your problem is, you are not f#^#@ing proactive"
E. TM told me that he didn't hire me to be f@^#@ing nice, and that by me being nice I was actually really naive
F. TM called me "cheap" for trying to find him deals on hotels
G. and when I found more expensive hotels he told me to f#%^#ing get a deal
H. TM does not believe in allowing co-workers to speak to each other
I. TM does not believe in voicemail
J. TM does not believe in cutting his own fruit (he hires a girl to be his fruit slicer)
K. TM does believe in spending $3,600 to ship a painting to his house in the Hamptons just for the weekend
L. TM wears the same black turtle neck to work every day
M. I witnessed TM fire someone just because he didn't like the "air of him"
N. TM will tell you to do something, forget it, and then yell at you for doing it
O. TM has a girlfriend 25 years younger than him
P. TM will scream and cuss when I am with families discussing the advantages of attending school here
Q. TM decided to build a "cafe" style seating area in the middle of the floor
R. Since I've been there TM has moved me from my original seat, to a seat downstairs by the receptionist, then moved me again to the "cafe"
S. There is no democracy at where I work, it is an absolute tyranny, and the Tyrant is known as TM
T. Every Thursday TM will dictate to the receptionist a list of things he wants for the Hamptons and Friday morning the receptionist will run around the ENTIRE city picking up things for him.
U. The reason for this is because his bagels HAVE to come from 81st street Bakery, but his salmon can only come from the Fulton Street Fish Market, yet his steaks have to come from the 14th street meat packing district and his tomatoes have to be hand picked from the 2nd Ave Garden
V. When CVS (it's like the Walgreens of the East Coast) called to tell him his prescription was ready to be picked up and I went over to tell him, he yelled at me and told me to put messages for him on a post-it note...made me actually not want to tell him and hope he forgets about his prescription...evil, I know.
W. TM wears shades even when he's indoors (always a sign of sketchiness)
X. TM's turnover rate is higher than eggs at a diner
Y. The man does not believe in office's because of his paranoia so we all sit in one HUGE room screaming and yelling at each other because we don't have voicemail or extensions and so when a call comes in we just scream at each other, but we can't talk to each other so when a person is new (like me) and don't know everyone's name you just have to scream really loud and hope that whomevers name you just screamed heard you and picked up line 3
Z. And to top it off, TM told me once that he didn't hire me to sit around and look pretty!

#2. My roommate and I have been discovered by these two little rugrats down the hall, and because we allowed them into our home to "play" one night they now sit around and knock, and ring our doorbells til I am forced to go out and yell at them CONSTANTLY. So, I must ask Dear Avid Readers...is it wrong to put other people's children in time out? Please respond.

#3. This is only a test from Dear Avid Michelle, she once told me that she does not read blogs that are "text-heavy" so if she gets to #3 I will be very shocked

#4. I keep having dreams that I quit my job in a blaze of glory, screaming, kicking and fighting

#5. Edward and Dev have taught me how to get to level 4 on my Nintendo DS and hence, I have spent most Friday nights with my new best friend Mario

Well that's it dear avid readers. i apologize for my long and brutal absence. Hopefully I will either be fired or quit my job soon and can spend all day blogging again.

O.M.G. A Hero is born

Dear Avid Readers,

Today i have to show you the most amazing 9 month old baby EVER. Yours Truly wants to take him home and eat him alive.  Despite being a cute video, it's his back story that's the most amazing.  After watching the video please read his back story and you will realize how amazing this little man is. Remember, he is 9 months old and still in diapers!

Here is his bio

Hero was born in Korea in September 2003. He has Beatles mania.
His full Korean name is Ha,YoungWoong;
Family name is Ha / Given name is YoungWoong (from Chinese) which means "Hero" in English. Self-motivation is what differentiates Hero from other child musicians like Michael Jackson who was forced to practice as a child.

Starting at the end of 2005, Hero began to sing by himself and now he can sing about 40 of The Beatles songs and forty other old pop songs.
Hero has not been trained in English or Music and has yet to live in or even visit any English-speaking countries. He just learned the songs by ear by himself and for his own amusement and after two months he finally managed to sing all 27 songs on The Beatles "1", though his pronunciation as a non-English speaker is a bit poor!!!

Hero has been dying to learn the guitar, but regretfully, he is too short and weak to get a tight grip on it with his fingers since he was only 90cm in 2007, last year and is still only 100cm now.

For your reference Hero's Korean is quite advanced for his age and he has yet to receive any formal training. Korea masscom regards him as a language prodigy; He was also featured in a Special Edition of BEST BABY in February 2008 (the most influential monthly parenting magazine in Korea)

Amazing right?

The Forgotten Birthday

Dear Avid Readers...first things first. I have no idea how to rid myself of this obnoxious underlining. Second of all, I have forgotten (in my latest mad rage of work) to post a shout out to Michael's Birthday. He is not only a dear avid reader but also a blood relative....my bro in fact. Through the years we've had good times and not so good times.
Good time...(underlining is gone!!!) He flew all the way in from Chicago to help me celebrate my birthday. It was awesome to not only have friends but family there to help me turn 3.0.
Bad times....he decided to become b.f.f.'s with all my friends and I am pretty sure they ended loving him as much as they loved me!
Good times....He never once got lost because for once NO ONE depended on him to get us anywhere and he could just follow other people around.

Bad times....because of his triglycerides he HAD to eat healthy food like Turkey and Brie sandwich with a salad instead of fries. (why is that bad you might ask) well he would order a gross salad and munch on everyone else's fries :)
Good Times....it's awesome to get older and older and become better and better friends. I mean most times than not when I call to "bond" with him he passes the phone on to his wife, which I actually count on as a confidant, but I am hoping to one day break the 15 minute barrier with him where he actually can stay on the phone for more than 15 minutes before I begin feeling the "pressure" to cut it short!
Bad Times....knowing that everyday he is leaving his house with this ridiculous, obnoxious, furry thing of a mustache that makes me cringe when have to think of my cute and wonderful sister-in-law kissing....

What Celebreties Would look like IF...

Dear Avid Readers, When I said that 2 postings in one day was aggressive that was before I decided to forward this on to you. It's Thursday, tomorrow is my last day at work, and well, these are just too funny to pass up. So, below are some pictures of....

WHAT CELEBRITIES WOULD LOOK LIKE IF THEY GREW UP IN INDIANA-

JOHN TRAVOLTA
TOM CRUISE

TARA REID

MY LADY S.P.J.

THE BECKHAMS

PAMELA ANDERSON

THE OLSEN TWINS

OH JOHNNY DEPP, WHAT HAPPENED?

NICOLE KIDMAN

J LO AND SKELETOR (AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT DLISTED CALLS HIM)

JENNIFER ANISTON

GWEN STEFANI

MICHAEL DOUGLAS AND CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

AND MY FAVE...BRITNEY SPEARS!

Memories....like the corner of my....

Dear Avid Readers, I've decided to be a posting machine today and do two posts in one day...Holy Moly, I know. Anyways, first things first, I won't mention any names, but I recently was told by an Avid Reader that when there are posts with no pictures but ALL words - that they don't actually read it; therefore, I often put random pictures in which relates, NOT, to the story, but only as a mere mirage to make those who only read with pictures finish the story :)

(The O.F.L ((Original Fairchild Ladies) circa 2000))

So it is officially the 2nd to last day at my current job, and come Monday morning I will be starting on a new venture. It is all at once exciting and nerve wrecking. I know I will be expected to work much harder with this new position and I am actually looking forward to having some indespensible responsibilities; however with that being said it's the fear of the unknown that is worse than the unknown itself (I would like to contribute this misquote to someone fantastically famous, but I am pretty sure I made it up myself. Maybe one day it will be used in the book of quotes)

Here is a picture that I received from Miss M. I had totally forgotten about this picture of when we were in College. It was Halloween, I was a "flapper" working at Sam's Pizza, slinging beers and Calzones to my favoritest ladies.

So second story: I just recently discovered that Diablo Cody (Director and Writer of the Oscar Winning Film, Juno) She grew up in Naperville (like Yours Truly), She attended Benet High School (right by where Yours Truly grew up), she then graduated and went to the University of Iowa (like Yours Truly did), so why if we have SO much in common does she have an Oscar while I am answering questions like, "Yo' I want to be famous. Can your school do that?" Well, I put a lot of thought into it and I think it came down to the direction we took post college, while I decided to delay working in the "real world" and do some traveling, Diablo decided to put the term "real" back into real world and become a stripper. 5 years later I am at working entry level and Miss Cody has won herself an Oscar! Sweeeeet. If I ever have a daughter I will be sure to be supportive of any and all decisions, because at the end of the day I realize that there is no right path to sucess only individual journeys (hot damn....I am on a cliche quote ROLE!) I feel like a wise sage.

In Response to.

Dear Avid Readers. A few weeks ago, I brought to you a link that made my week better and brighter. It was a video from funny lady Sarah Silverman to her boy toy Jimmy. I sat in my little office laughing my head off. Well, in response to Sarah's Dear John Love Song, Jimmy has decided to respond. This made my day.


It is brilliant. I wish I was the illegitimate love child of Sarah and Jimmy.