Wanted - Single Asian Female

Dear Avid Readers. Ever since The Boy has moved across the globe, Your Truly is back to the drawing boards as far as finding a new roomate. Now up until a few years ago I have had pretty good luck as far as roomates go: (if you will follow me down memory lane)

1. Freshman Year. I had a roomate name Kara who was dating (and planned on marrying) Kevin Karlin, thereby, making her initials K.K.K. She was sweet, blonde haired, blue eyed and a wonderful first roomate as they went to different schools so she was always 3 hours away visiting him and I therefore had a room all to myself. Even when they were both here they really felt like an older brother and sister. The biggest complaint Yours Truly could have said about her was that her dream wedding would be at Disney World.

2. Sophmore Year. I had my B.F.F. as my roomate so that was amazing. 'Nuff Said. Even our arguments were more like sisters than anything else.

3. Junior Year. Junior year I did hit a slight bump in the road of Roomate Bliss. I started the year off with a group of friends but due to a few minor setbacks (a.k.a. they thought I was a Britta Water Pitcher Klepto) we decided to part ways. I still got my B.F.F. and we decided to adopt her boyfriends sister and the #3 to the group. Now, I must say that although there were some issues I had with BS (boyfriends sister) they were bearable in the sense that I had to just laugh at some of the crazy things BS would do or suggest. If any Dear Avid Readers know Yours Truly's brother you would thing nothing of these requests as I tried to.

• Flushing once a day unless we went #2
• Turning down the heat during the dead of winter to save electricity
• Saying no to food my B.F.F and I would make and then sit there watching us eat whilst commenting on how we ate a lot
• Asking us to brush out the crumbs every time we made toast
• Cleaning the microwave every morning whether it needed cleaning or not

But, still, the year went by smoothly.

4. Senior Year. This may have been a top 3 moment of Roomate history. I got to live at 209 Fairchild and the name speaks for itself. I had my other B.F.F.'s and spent a year in absolute and total bliss. We had theme parties, fed an overweight neighbors dog ice cream, shot off fireworks and then had our landlord send up a notice of when we were caught by the police- all in all it was the best senior year ever.

5. First post college Place. My next apartment would be in Taiwan as I taught English. Again, it was much like Junior year. Not amazing but not unbearable either. I lived with an ABC, like myself, and a girl from Switzerland. We all got along but never really hung out but would have drinks once in awhile. It was a nice apartment and the only complaint was that the ABC had a dog that was definately not neutured and therefore would have her "period" all over the apartment and on my shoes.

6. Second Post College Place. I headed back to Iowa to live with The Boy and his 5 roomates. Now this was fun as well, as I was the only lady with 6 dudes. I will say that after living here I was under the assumption that living with guys was completely drama free.

7. Third Post College Place. After that I moved to Chi-Town to live with My Truly Stephanie and Jessica. Now if there were ever a time when 3 absolutely opposite beings could live together this would be it. Stephanie was an old friend from High School, and Jessica was The Boys best friends ex-girlfriend. (This should have been a first sign) Long story short, it was a strange living environment ending with Stephanie and I still wondering, to this day, what it was that made Jessica tell all of Des Moines that she was miserable living there. Often times, Stephanie and Yours Truly will share a beer and wonder outloud....followed by the briefest of pauses...and then we move on.

8. Fourth Post College Place. From here the boy and I moved to China and lived together in an apartment with a hole in the wall that we had to cover with a pair of pants we found when we moved in. Now keep in mind, we would have used something different, but having only packed enough to carry for 1 whole year we couldn't really waste our clothes. I had a good time living with the boy and the only complaints I had were

• The hole in the Wall
• All the people pissing, showering, pooping, and spitting loogies out my front door
• SARS occured
• Everyone stared at us incessantly

Beyond that, we had a maid at 65 cents an hour, our B.F.F. in China was 2 buildings down from where we lived, my cousin was very close as well, and we discovered this little buns filled with delicious mystery meat from China.

9. First Pre-Adult Place. From China the boy and I moved to New York City!!! I found our first joint apartment in the butt cracks of Chinatown. It was small, it was cramped, but it was ours. For the first time I put time into decorating, and buying furniture. It was just like they said on TV...playing house is nice...for awhile. Living in such tight quarters proved to be more than Yours Truly could handle and after 1 year I moved out.

10. Second Pre-Adult Place. I was so ready to move, that I packed my bags and moved 3 blocks down the street. :) From here I have had an array of interesting cats that have made me realize and appreciate all those great roomates beforehand

• #1. An Irish drunk who had anger issues when drinking. He would throw anything within sight. Often I would wake up to a bruised and beaten sandwich scattered about the house, or my shoes all over. I also lost two Tiffany's wine glasses to such blatant rage. Other times The Boy and I would wake in the middle of the night to extremely loud sobbing and cussing for hours on end


• #2. My Michelle who was a light at the end of a long tunnel. Living with her reminded me of the days of yore, when I got to live with B.F.F.'s. she is like a little sister and confidante for me. I miss, miss, miss, miss living with her.



• #3. Although it was hard to say goodbye to Michelle, The Boy and I decided to give living together another chance as we have been together 7 years at this point. However, before his lease was up I had a 2 month window where I needed someone to move in so Enter ML. He was someone I found off Craigslist and although he was an exceptionally nice guy (and I chose him becuase he had the same name as my brother) it was like living in China again. He wore indoor slippers, he brushed his teeth in the kitchen sink, he ate out of a tin bowl despite the fact that I had nice dishes, he hawked loogies in the shower, and didn't really know how to aim in the toilet. Alas it was only 2 months


• #4. Finally the Boy moved in, but with him came his younger brother and a part time girlfriend. Long story short, although the apartment was bigger than before it felt tiny again by the additional bodies.

So now I am spending the weekend shopping for new roomates again. As I begin my first showing tonight I try to keep in mind all the ones before me and I hope I do not end up with a

SINGLE ASIAN FEMALE: