(faces have been omitted in order to preserve the identity of those involved)
The Gym Invasion:
Who: Me and a Blonde Amazon woman
What: Awkward Battle
When: Last Friday
Where: At the NYSC (New York Sports Club) the gym I belong to
Why: There are no explainations.
The Story is as follows. Friday night I was meeting Lady Friday at an Art Gallery Opening after work , and since I did not have time that morning to shower I decided to take a quick shower at my gym before meeting Lady Friday. Just as a preface, I go to this gym at least 4 times a week for yoga, and it's usually the same familiar faces with a few newbies now and then. Well since Fridays I get off work at 5, it was still early and it was pretty empty in the gym, hence the Blonde Amazon Woman stood out to me. (see picture below)
I really didn't think twice since we were at the gym and lady looked like she worked out and could bench press 3 of me with her left arm. Anyways, I get undressed, stuff all my belongings into my gym bag and head to the shower. Now at NYSC, the individual showers have individual hooks for bags/towels/etc. Anyways, so I hang up my bag with all my stuff and my towels over my bag and proceeded to shower. As I am washing my hair I see Miss Amazon walking back and forth through the shower area. Well, in the middle of me rinsing my hair I see Amazon lady really close to my bag and next thing I know I see her stick her hand into my bag while pretending to look the other way. Well, my gut instinct was to scream and run out of the shower. So, now I am naked, sopping wet, with suds still in my hair and eyes and screaming like a madwoman. Amazon lady doesn't run or do anything but slowly walk out of the shower area. At this point I wasn't sure what to do, so as I am standing there when this other girl by the mirror said she saw the whole thing through the mirror and asked me if I wanted to her go and tell someone. I was very thankful and asked her to please tell a manager as I really wasn't able to go anywhere in the condition I was in. I get back in the shower and finished washing my hair, and as I am getting out and drying off (see picture below)
So as I am drying off with a towel the NYSC employee walks over Amazon woman and wants her to speak with me. (now, I am going to go off on a tangent. But seriously, if you just tell someone that a woman the size of an Amazon was trying to rob you, do you really think that I want to confront her????) I didn't think so. But apparently this nice NYSC employee thought that the best way to solve this situation was to match up Amazon lady who is 6'8" and fully clothed against Yours Truly was is 5'5" and wearing a gym towel (they tend to be smaller than normal towels), alas, since I was put in that awkward position I didn't know what to say besides,
Me: "Why were you sticking your hand in my bag?" (while my hands were desparately clamped on the towel so that it wouldn't fall)
Amazon: "I was reaching for a towel, I wasn't stealing anything!" (she was holding a towel in her hand and waving it around)
Me: "Well, even if you needed a towel, the towels hanging on my bag clearly belong to me and not for you to take, so it doesn't matter what you were supposedly reaching for it is still my stuff." (my face is starting to get red and my hands and legs are visably shaking now0
Amazon: "I don't know what you think you saw but I was getting a towel!"
Me: "well 2 people saw you put your hand inside my bag, so clearly you weren't reachign for a towel."
Amazon: "I don't know what you are talking about, I was going for a towel" (Amazon continue to say over and over again at which point I was exhausted and wanting to dry off and stop arguing with a crazy woman naked!
Either way, in the end nothing was stolen besides my pride but seriously, why would ANYONE bring someone over. It's not like we are 5 years old on the playground and she was stealing my toy so the teacher has to bring her over so we can "work it out" I mean b*#^% was reaching into my bag.....oh, OINY (only in NY)
6 comments:
That sucks D! That's horrible that they would make you talk to that woman! It sounds like you stood up for yourself though, which is awesome! Your pride needn't be hurt, you are the bomb.
I would stand my ground and demand something to be done by the amazon women, the nysc place cannot expect to just let her go, she can easily do that to someone else. Even if the amazon did not admit it, than I would ask the gym rep what the recourse is and that i want to see her manager, to first make sure they have procedures when these things are happening, second that it was rude to have a conference while you were naked and vulnerable. Third that it was silly to believe that a little discussion will help. Amazon needs to be written up.
Well, I did go to the manager, and unfortunately since it's the girls locker room they can't put cameras or anything and Amazon lady happens to be a "paying" customer who has a huge case of Klepto. So the manager said that they would keep an "eye" out for her to return (and it is true, no one really has seen her at that gym so she is probably one of those people that goes from gym to gym) and that's as far as they can go. I mean if she pays her dues on time then she is a member, and the manager just said that I should be more careful to "lock" things up. Although that made me mad, because one would think that having your bag 1 foot away from you is just as good as locking it up, but I guess not.....OINY!
D-
Awesome story! On a side note, what ghetto ass photoshop do you use that uses pubic hair to black out faces?
I don't have photoshop, so my ghetto ass had to use this awesome program...maybe you've heard of it, it's called, Paint. :)
It's actually quite lovely that you were naked during your tirade. It implies your purity, and cleanliness and the gym towel was large enough to cover your huge set of brass balls!
I hope that you see Amazon again. Tell her that you apologize for the mix-up, and that you weren't aware that the steroids she's on clouded her judgement. ;)
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