Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Diarrhea of the Mouth

Dear Avid Readers.

Urbandictionary.com defines Diarrhea of the Mouth as being:

Spilling your beans nonstop to any and everyone who will listen. This especially applies when you're cracked out or tweaked on drugs and feel the need to share every random thought that crosses your mind.
Synonyms include: Chatty Cathy

With that being said, dear avid readers, I hereby begin my tale of diarrhea terror. Last night was my company Christmas party. Now these last few months have been trying for Yours Truly as there is a co-worker of mine that makes my skin crawl. Now this is the same, infamous
Employee X from previous posts that I will be referring to from here on out. Since then, she has continued making mistakes large and small. She comes into work late and leaves right on the dot. She has constant appointments with dentists, orthopedic foot doctors, dermatologists that she HAS TO see during office hours so will leave for like an hour and a half to two hours during lunch. And I would be fine with all this except that:
1. The little responsibility she does possesses she rarely accomplishes it without mistakes
2. When she does finally get to working she can never finish and sometimes pawns off her work to others.
3. Because my boss hates working with her I get all her extra load
(My top three reasons why I absolutely can not stand Employee X)
So, last week the IT guy discovered that one of his reports (an important one used to contact all perspective students) was tampered with by EX(Employee X). Now, she has been told by IT to NEVER touch reports because she keeps messing them up and when a report gets ruined it takes IT a long time to recover these damaged reports. However, as usual EX thinks she is able to do much more than we all know she is capable of. Except this time, she had changed and accidentally saved a report that allowed NOT ONE SINGLE STUDENT who put Los Angeles as the campus of interest to receive any mailings from us. If you were a perspective student requesting Admissions information from AMDA and put LA as your campus of interest we would not mail you anything in other words. Now, this was discovered 12/13/2007 and she had changed the report on 8/23/2007. As you can guess LA was LIVID. Their numbers are down this year and they have been getting a lot of slack from the higher powers that may be and so can you imagine when they discovered that someone from NY (yes, there is an unfriendly rivalry between the 2 campuses) that they were looking for a head to chop. However, rather than chopping the only logical head of EX, my bosses, decide it was LA's fault for being unclear with EX....(unbelievable right?) which adds to my intense dislike of working with her.

So, long story short last night at the work Christmas party I had a co-worker (at 1:30 in the am, 130 sips of wine later) who gave me the beginnings of a pity party
"Don't leave"
"I really want you to be here instead of EX"
"We all know how much more you're working"
And all this is like eating a bad piece of lettuce and getting diarrhea, because, after hearing all this, I began getting Diarrhea of the mouth and being like,
"I know it's sooooo hard working with her"
"I don't feel like I can work with her any longer"
"she is so brutal but no one does anything about it"

In other words, dear avid readers, it is what I've been saying to you, but now I've vocalized it (whilst drunk) to my co-worker. It is something I hate doing. I hate diarrheaing to people I work with but alas that cheap pinot grigio did a number on my judgment and I did it. Therefore, the only thing to end this post with is....Dope.

3 comments:

Michael & May said...

it happens to all of us--but that sucks

Anonymous said...

i can totally empathize. the other day i had a sudden onset of turrets syndrome, i asked my male coworker why he always stares at my chest when talking to me. :P

-lin

Anonymous said...

Lin, that's hilarious. I'm glad that I am not the only one with DOTM. May, please sing with us so that we do not crash and burn on Christmas eve. The rest of us will mumble "elephant, elephant" while you actually sing the words to Amazing Grace!

D-