Mid-Life Purgatory

Dear Avid Readers,

I know, I know. It's been about a year since I've last shared "Deep Thoughts by Yours Truly." I find that I am at my best when things are slow and calm. It is typically those times that my little head is able to process and turn events into crazy thoughts in my head. After what seems like a busy and crazy year I've decided to return to the daily grind and be better at updating. These next few entries will catch ya'll up on my life since Wednesday December 17, 2008, but, for now, I wanted to talk about my mid life purgatory.

I don't think I will ever be a person who goes through a midlife crisis. I mean, I strongly believe that having an untraditionally tough childhood has led me to really, really, really appreciate the aging process. My life has increasingly gotten better and more fulfilling with age. But that absolutely does not stop me from having a mid-life purgatory.

For those of you unfamiliar with such above mentioned illness it is when you are literally stuck between being a kid and being an adult. Some people look at this and think...yuck, purgatory stinks while others think its the perfect utopian life balance.

I, on the other-hand, have no idea which one I am. Examples you ask???

1- I walk into the school cafeteria and will shake my head in disgust at all the little children going to school in their pj's BUT find it difficult to leave with my cup of coffee because the TV is tuned into MTV's "True Life"

2. I want to go back to school BUT only if it A.) pays me to study like an adult job does B.) does not require additional work when I am done with class like an adult job does and C.) Gives me 25 vacation days of my choice like my job does (I mean on top of daily classtime)

3. I love hosting dinner parties and throwing keggers and literally having a hoe-down every weekend, BUT the idea of strangers peeing and puking in my sparkly white toilet bowl isn't as glamorous as it was before

4. I attend the "young" events and feel it's too loud, too obnoxious, too hipstery and too, well, young BUT I attend the "adult" events and have a hard time contributing to mortgages, children and climbing the corporate ladder. I mean all I want to do is ask, "Can you believe Tamara in the Real Housewives last night??? I mean, for realz?"

5. I still hate going to bed and will find myself making picture frames, playing Nintendo DS or watching TV til late at night, BUT still getting my purgatory ass out of bed by at least 9 am.

6. On weekends I think about gardening, re-arranging the apartment or running errands BUT typically wake up hung over and wanting a greasy breakfast followed by a nap. (oh p.s. I don't know how to garden, am not too handy when it comes to decorating and really what are errands if not things that can be done tomorrow?)

7. In the sense of cognitive awareness I know that I should be excercising more and eating healthier as I grow older BUT I continue to tell myself that Asians have an additional 5 year bump due to high metabolism and I live in a city that celebrates fine dining so I should never waste such opportunities.

so there you have it dear avid readers. I have now bestowed upon you my deepest and most intimate thoughts. Trust me, more will be coming but, for now, I will leave you with this final thought.

If you find yourself reading this and thinking "yes, yes, yes, I agree" then there is clearly only one solution for you. Move to Brooklyn (preferably as close to Metropolitan and Graham as possible) and let's start a club together where we we act like complete teenage fools with the dignitgy and experience of an adult in purgatory.