Yours Truly Gryllis

Dear Avid Readers.

I've been getting Facebook updates and pictures of all the outdoorsy things people do over the summer. Hiking, canoeing, camping, fishing etc. It looks like so much fun and I am always envious of people who have that innate sense of adventure and bond with mother earth. I mean, I love adventure. But somehow between me you and the lamp post my sense of adventure is getting on a plane to Amsterdam, figuring out how to get into the city center by using only public transportation and then trying to meet a stranger who is a local and having him/her show me the best retaurants, bars and spots that tourists don't know about. My worst nightmare, on the other hand, would be to be dropped in the middle of nowhere, like Bear Grylls and have to survive.

With that being said, it's not my worst nightmare in the sense that I would hate it. I mean I talk about auditioning for The Amazing Race and Survivor all the time and really believe that I want to do it. I just mean that if I were put in that situation it would be my worst nightmare becuase I would be terrible at it. I don't mean terrible (like my Math skills) but I mean terrible as in if I get too cold sometimes in the city I literally stop walking becuase I feel that death is a better alternative than being cold. Or when I get too hot I get a bloody nose becuase I don't have enough pores to let the heat out. I would be terrible in the sense that I just wouldn't make it out alive.

I look at the people who go camping and (in shorts) get on their hands and knees and start digging a fire pit. Or those woman who pull over on the side of the road and go neck high in prarie grass just to pee. I want to be like that but the truth is the minute I am on my hands and knees in the dirt I think about taking a shower. Or when I try to pee in weeds I would have an entire ass (quite a large surface area) covered with bites from mosquitos to spiders that would be entirely terrible. If I get bitten in Brooklyn I spend the rest of the night like an addict on the worst trip of their life, paranoid and thinking that bugs are eating me alive.

Anyways, dear avid readers, for all you out there that do all the things I wish I could do cheers. My hat is definitely off to you. Know that I wish I was there, I wish I could do what you do, and I wish I knew the first steps of bonding with nature. But, alas, yours truly, has accepted that I am a hotel, a.c., and restaurant type of a girl who understands and appreciates those who aren't.

I will bond by continuing to donate yearly to the WWF (not worldwife wrestling federation people but World Wildlife Fund) and making sure that when I order sushi I order only fish that is in season and NOT just salmon and tuna!